The Magic of Egypt

Love Initiation: Learning The Language Of Soul

Since my return from Egypt, friends have been eager to know about my experiences there. I often provide lackluster responses, such as "It was magical" or "Hot, sandy, and dry." It's not because Egypt lacks luster; it's because the magic of the trip is still unfolding within me. So, here I am, listening to Egyptian music, attempting to capture and process the enchantment I bestowed upon this journey.

Although I had visited other countries before, an inexplicable yearning for Egypt led me to commit to the trip without hesitation. A resounding "YES!" was my immediate response when John and Julianne asked me to join a team of 24 authors to write in a Brave Healer (along side Laura DiFranco Badass Publisher) collaboration book on our love initiation stories. The preparation for this adventure spanned a year and was no small feat. A few weeks before departure, a bout of COVID-19 and financial uncertainties posed challenges. Not only was this the trip of a lifetime, but I had told my friend Susan before she passed away that I would take her with me. Fortunately, I recovered in time, and the Universe conspired to make the journey possible. 

Susan passed the month and a half before I left for Egypt. On her deathbed, I had promised to take her ashes with me and to share her story of love and light.

If you haven't had the chance to, please read my Love Initiation Book Chapter, released on January 22nd. Chapter 13: The Quest For Joy After Loss - What To Do When Everything Falls Apart in honor of her. By the way, she passed away on the 13th, so that's synchronistic.

The Journey Begins

TUE – THURS SEPT 26-28: Travel to Cairo and check in at Hyatt Regency West.

A Queen Is Born

The journey was arduous as if I had waited lifetimes to reach my destination. I started the 26th at 3:30 am, driving to Bloomington to catch a plane to Atlanta, Georgia, and then to Italy with a brief layover. As I enjoyed a pistachio croissant, thoughts of revisiting Italy danced in my mind. 

From Italy, the next stop was Cairo, Egypt, where I was greeted by someone who ushered me through security and passport customs. A bus ride into what felt like the unknown ensued, with chaotic traffic and a momentary sense of being lost or kidnapped.

After an hour and a half, I reached the hotel, exhausted from over two days of travel. I met our tour guide, Youssef, whose warm welcome immediately put me at ease. A delightful tray of African cuisine awaited me in my room, where I savored the solitude as no other passengers were due until the next day. That night, I slept deeply, rejuvenating my weary body.

The following day, I explored the hotel, contemplating by a water pool, and Natasha, my assigned roommate, soon arrived. Before the trip, Natasha and I connected to ensure a comfortable living arrangement. 

She entered the room exuding a goddess's energy, bearing gifts. We explored the hotel together, conversing over drinks and staying up late into the night, getting to know each other. 

FRI, SEPT 29: Early morning visit to the Sphinx. After breakfast, visit Saqarra (Doser Step Pyramid), camel riding and horse adventure, carpet store and restaurant at the home of Ihab's family friends, and the blue lotuses.

Signs Along The Way

Embarking on a transformative journey, the following day unfolded at 4:30 am as my co-authors, leaders, and guides gathered. In the pre-dawn darkness, we ventured towards the ancient wonders. The pyramids and the Sphinx emerged as majestic silhouettes bathed in the full moon's glow–a magical and breathtaking sight.

Descending to where the Sphinx's paws reached, we gathered in a sacred circle within its majestic embrace. Our purpose was clear – to forge a love initiation path, embarking on a transformative journey guided by the celestial energies of the full moon in Aries. The atmosphere was charged with anticipation as we prepared to delve into the depths of our intentions and initiations.

Within the protective circle, each participant took their turn to share the aspirations and desires that fueled their personal quests. As we stood beneath the watchful gaze of the Sphinx, I, too, voiced my chosen intention with a resounding "joy." This proclamation echoed through the night, becoming a beacon for the collective energy we sought to manifest.

In the profound silence that followed, the supporters present witnessed the sacred unfolding of individual journeys. With its weathered and timeless features, the Sphinx exuded gentleness and power—a maternal force enveloping us in its benevolent presence. The ancient guardian became the focal point, bridging the earthly and celestial realms as we stood on the threshold of personal transformation.

The collective energy within the circle resonated with the potent intentions, weaving a tapestry of shared experiences and individual revelations. The Sphinx, a silent sentinel to our sacred endeavor, seemed to imbue the space with an aura of ancient wisdom, reinforcing the significance of our initiation under the celestial influence of the full moon.

As we basked in the Sphinx's embrace, a profound sense of unity and purpose prevailed—a communion with forces beyond the visible, guiding us on a path of love initiation. The circle stood as a testament to the interconnectedness of our journeys, symbolized by the gentle yet powerful presence of the Sphinx—an enduring witness to the magic that unfolded beneath the luminescent glow of the full moon in Aries.

In a moment of profound seeking, I laid my hands upon the Sphinx's paw, yearning for a message from the ancient guardian. As the silent whispers of the night surrounded us, the words emerged with clarity, "Know your Power, Be Your Power." The weight of these words resonated deep within my being, evoking a flood of emotions. Overwhelmed by the profound wisdom bestowed upon me, tears flowed freely, a testament to the humbling realization of the inherent power within and the responsibility to embody it. In its timeless presence, the Sphinx became a conduit for a message that transcended the boundaries of time and space, echoing the eternal truth of self-discovery and empowerment.

Post-ceremony, we captured moments with the Sphinx. We witnessed the celestial spectacle of the moon setting and the sun rising – an indescribable experience that defied words, requiring personal presence to comprehend genuinely.

Returning to the bus, we embarked on a journey to a vast field that offered a distant yet awe-inspiring view of the three iconic pyramids of Giza. As the monumental structures came into sight, a gasp escaped my lips. I found myself uttering, "I painted this before I came." The realization struck me with a profound sense of awe and wonder.

The painting, a product of intuitive strokes that began taking shape in the spring and concluded just before the trip, portrayed three majestic pyramids gleaming in golden hues adorned with textured rubble stone details. At its creation, I was still determining its connection to Egypt or whether it held any significance for my upcoming journey. Yet, standing there, in the presence of the towering pyramids, I witnessed the manifestation of my artistic expression unfolding in reality.

The initiative set in motion months earlier, guided by an intuitive force beyond my conscious understanding, was now materializing before my eyes. The moment's magic played out as I beheld the scene that flowed from my brushes onto the canvas. The synchronicity between the painting and the real-life tableau of the pyramids underscored the profound connection between creative expression and the unfolding journey, weaving a narrative that transcended the boundaries of time and space.

In that serendipitous moment, the painting served as a bridge between the realms of imagination and reality, affirming the interconnectedness of the artistic process and the unfolding experiences in Egypt. It was a testament to the mysterious forces at play, guiding me on a path where intuitive creation and tangible reality converged in a dance of magic and manifestation.

We returned to the hotel for breakfast in the early morning before exploring Saqqara, specifically the Djoser Step Pyramid. The scorching heat and my inadvertent choice of sandals over more practical shoes became apparent as we delved into the ancient wonders. A momentary "oops" echoed in my mind as I hoped my footwear choice wouldn't pose an issue.

Entering one of the temple pyramids, I was captivated by a room adorned with hieroglyphics. Suddenly, I found myself at a standstill, gasping in astonishment. It dawned on me that I had a connection to this place from a past life—a powerful realization that I was healing fragmented parts of my soul from ancient traumas. It felt like coming home.

Exiting the hieroglyphics room and pyramid, my attention was drawn to horses and camels nearby, igniting a childlike mix of excitement and trepidation. The prospect of riding a camel was presented, and my heart leaped. Despite wondering if my youthful spirit was too young for my older body, I couldn't resist the adventure.

A camel was chosen for me, and after some struggle to mount, I found myself atop the majestic creature, riding down a sandy dune. However, the experience took an unexpected turn when the camel's front legs buckled, sending me forward. Gripping the harness seat for dear life, I narrowly avoided flying off. Still, the harness center delivered a formidable blow to my stomach.

Egyptian men came to my aid, recovering the camel, but not without casualties—one of my sandals was lost, and my sunglasses were nowhere to be found. Resuming the camel ride, the punch to my stomach manifested, and I began to projectile vomit to the sides, hoping not to hit anyone else with my unfortunate display.

Begging the camel trainer to let me down, I descended in pain, walking the sandy dune in discomfort. The scorching sun intensified my moans as I longed for water. The trainer's attempts to overcharge me only added to the ordeal. Finally reaching the group at the next pyramid, I felt a sense of shame, having vomited everywhere with no dry pants left. The thought crossed my mind: was the entire trip going to be like this?

In a sudden epiphany, I remembered a similar initiation in Peru the previous year. On the first day, climbing a terrace, I had purged at the top of a sacred rock, a symbolic purification for the journey. This realization shifted my perspective from frustration to understanding—even though it was an unexpected and rude awakening.

Swiftly recovering, we proceeded to a beautiful carpet store where I generously spent on some pieces, justifying it as a birthday splurge. Following the carpet store, we visited a restaurant at the home of a family friend of our travel guide. 

The surroundings featured beautiful blue lotuses in a mini pond and sacred, freely roaming cats. Egypt's reverence for cats brought my feline companion to mind, intensifying my feelings of missing her. Starving and still reeling from the camel incident, the cat enjoyed more of my meal than I did.

Reflecting on the camel ordeal, I pondered its symbolic message. I realized I approached the ride with childlike joy, only to be met with disappointment and hurt—a recurring pattern in my life. The incident prompted introspection about the source of my elusive joy, uncovering a deeper understanding of my emotional journey.

SAT, SEPT 30th: Visit the Cairo Museum, have a

birthday lunch & cake, fly to Aswan, and board the dahabiya - Hadeel and Nile Lily.

Soul Tribe

Saturday, September 30th, marked a pivotal day as I celebrated my 40th birthday, a symbolic initiation into the second half of my journey.

The night before, my roommate Natasha gifted me a stunning scarf from India and a fan from Thailand, which proved to be a lifesaver throughout the day. Under the moonlit sky, we shared cocktails and a lavish Egyptian meal, creating beautiful memories that made me feel truly loved and seen.

My birthday unfolded with a packed itinerary, beginning with a visit to the bustling Cairo Museum. The crowd and the heat were intense, but Natasha's thoughtful gift kept me cool as we explored ancient Egyptian artifacts guided by Emil, our Egyptian guide. Amidst the challenges of the environment, comprehending the rich history became a daunting task.

Following the museum adventure, we paused for lunch, providing a welcome opportunity to connect with friends Kelly and Melissa. Kelly shared her enchanting love story of meeting her husband in Ireland and the subsequent move, evoking a wish for such love in my life. Although I was not actively seeking it, I trusted that the right time for my romantic journey would unfold.

Mid-conversation, the ambiance shifted with loud music and chanting. To my surprise, the staff and peers had organized a birthday celebration, presenting a chocolate cake. The unexpected gesture overwhelmed me with gratitude, surpassing any birthday celebration I'd experienced in the past.

Post-lunch revelry, we embarked on a bus journey to the airport, flying from Cairo to Aswan to board our yacht, the Hadeel. On the plane, I found a companion in Marion, with whom I had been Facebook and book colleagues for about a year. Despite our virtual connection, our in-person conversation flowed seamlessly, and we quickly became fast friends. The journey, both literal and metaphorical, was shaping up to be an unforgettable chapter in the story of my 40th year.

The plane's delay threw us off our schedule, and by the time we reached the boats, weariness and hunger had set in after the hours of travel. I had the chance to connect with Christine and have a meaningful conversation right before an unexpected twist awaited as I approached the boat, eager to settle in. I stepped on and, in a moment of misfortune, slipped, cutting my lower left leg. A big welcome to the Nile, hosted by Set, the god of chaos, power, and magic.

Wobbling onto the boat, I sought refuge in a patio chair. Upon lifting my pant leg, I discovered blood streaming down my leg. A man, donned in traditional Egyptian attire with a Turkish fez hat and tennuri, resembling a whirling dervish dancer, rushed over and knelt before me. Mahmoud, as I later learned his name, tried to attend to the blood, but soon, a crowd formed, eager to inspect my injury. I felt like a wounded cat, hissing at the well-meaning but overwhelming assistance, fearing infection.

The cut, deep and unsettling, prompted me to retrieve a first aid kit from my backpack. Mahmoud persisted in helping despite my initial resistance. As he bandaged my leg, frustration and exhaustion surged, questioning whether the trip would continue to stay in this chaotic manner. Tears flowed at dinner as John and Julianne approached me with comforting words and love.

Later in my room, I examined the wound, discovering its peculiar shape—a backward 7 or L. Intrigued, I delved into Egyptian hieroglyphics, finding that they resembled a backward L, the letter B, meaning the lower leg or foot. 

"What the F%$#?" I said out loud.

A further exploration into the ancient Egyptian symbolism of the number 7 revealed a connection to Set's Scepter. The Set Scepter symbolized magical or mystical powers.

"Wow! This is crazy!" I said, realizing the potential significance of this experience; I was astounded. It felt like I had given a blood sacrifice, stepping into the realm of magical and awe-inspiring forces.

Excitedly sharing my findings with Natasha upon returning to our room, we grappled with the weight of the symbolism. What did this all mean? What mystical journey were we about to embark upon? In a night filled with deep conversations, we only managed a brief hour of sleep before awakening to set out on our next adventure, the mysteries of the Nile awaiting our exploration.

(The wound took two months to heal completely; it is still sensitive after 3.5 months)

SUN, OCT 1: Early morning water taxis and visit to Philae (Isis Temple).

The Remembering

At 4 am, a wake-up call beckoned me. The sacred presence of Isis summoned me to her temple, and this time, I remembered to bring a piece of Susan. We quietly boarded a bus and caught an early morning water taxi to reach the enchanting Isis. As we sailed, a magical silhouette emerged in the shadows.

In ancient Egyptian mythology, Isis is a goddess who was worshipped as the ideal mother and wife and the patroness of nature and magic. Her temple, the Temple of Isis, is famous for symbolizing devotion to this goddess. The most renowned Temple of Isis is located on the island of Philae, although it was later relocated due to the construction of the Aswan High Dam. The temple is known for its beautifully preserved reliefs and structures, reflecting the significance of Isis in ancient Egyptian religious practices.

Upon arrival, we stepped into the center where colossal columns stood, bathed in the moonlight's glow— a breathtaking sight. Flashes of past lifetimes flooded my consciousness. I had been here many times before in past lives; indeed, it was a journey to remember.

Beneath the moonlit sky, we walked through the darkness of the temple towards Isis' altar, gathering in a circle for a sacred opening ceremony. As I entered her sanctuary, I prayed as I had in lifetimes past, pressing my hands blindly against her sacred walls and feeling the carvings. A small voice echoed as I touched her walls, "Remember your power."

Then, a great king cobra appeared in my vision, accompanied by the voice proclaiming, "You are protected by the serpent god Wadjet."

Then, I envision wings resembling those of Isis in flight. The voice declared, "You have wings like me; you are a queen. Remember your power." Later, I discovered that Isis' wings symbolize safety, magical ability, resurrection power, grief, and the protection of the dead. Something I would continue to meditate upon.

We moved through rooms, releasing, crying, and singing prayers into the temple. In Horus's room, a whisper urged, "Remember your pieces, let them return, as Isis prayed for her lover Osiris to come back whole."

I stood silently, pondering the profound messages, then quietly walked to find a breeze from outside. As I sat on a bench overlooking the water in the moonlight, I remembered Susan and began to sing a song, chanting and releasing emotions of grief. I scattered Susan's ashes into the wind as the sunrise emerged behind the hills. I felt a vibration in my throat, a reminder that Egypt sits on the fifth chakra meridian of the world grid.

Then, over the water, I heard, "Return to me, return to me."

These puzzle pieces, mysterious and enigmatic, signify glimpses into my spiritual journey—past lives, divine protection, personal power, and a newfound self-worth. The whispered message in Horus's room suggests a process of spiritual integration and healing, while the call to "return to me" invites me to reconnect with a deeper sense of self or a spiritual source. Though not forming a clear picture, these revelations beckon me to continue unraveling the mysteries of my spiritual path.

I joined my friends for the sunrise, and the carvings of the temples became clearer as darkness gave way to the day. I saw serpents everywhere, a constant reminder of what I heard in Isis' altar.

In my research, I found that in ancient Egyptian mythology, Wadjet is a goddess often depicted as a cobra or as a woman with the head of a cobra. She is associated with protection, Lower Egypt, and the pharaoh. Wadjet is considered a serpent goddess, and her symbol, the uraeus (a stylized upright cobra), is often worn on the pharaoh's crown as a sign of royal protection. She is also linked to the Eye of Ra, a powerful protective symbol in ancient Egyptian belief. Wadjet played a significant role in ancient Egypt's mythology and religious practices.

Before leaving the temples, I took a sacred rock for my medicine bag. I bid farewell to the pillars and temples, returning to the dream boat. As I arrived back, Mahmoud gifted me a scarab in a beautiful gesture of love and healing. "Thank you, " he expressed, his hand on his heart, "It is an honor for me to serve you, my Queen,"

I'm starting to remember.

Love Initiation (A Poem)

In the realm of love initiation, a tale untold,

Soul's language, a saga of whispers unfolds.

Spiritual circumcisions, an ageless rhyme,

Centuries echo, marking the passage of time.

Lost in the din, the voice within's refrain,

Who we are forgotten in the tumultuous terrain.

In stillness, we sit amidst voices that shout,

Conditions, rules, and resistance about.

Trauma's grip, a weight we hold,

Yet truth lies hidden, a whisper to behold.

An initiation, a step into the unknown,

A journey unique, for each soul to own.

No love gurus or potions can chart the way,

It's your will, your spirit, that leads the day.

Step into the inner resource, the essence of all,

A love initiation, your personal call.

Leave behind the echoes, a challenging decree,

For true love awaits a boundless sea.

In the quiet sanctuary of your own sway,

Initiation unfolds, a unique ballet.

MON, OCT 2: Visit Kom Ombo (Temple of Sobek and Horus) and birthday surprise for Diane.

The Mark of God herself

The following day, our journey led us gracefully along the Nile River, guiding us toward the ancient sanctuary renowned as the oldest healing medical temple. As Emil shared the temple's remarkable history, dating back 5,000 years, I felt an uncanny familiarity, as if I had revisited this sacred space in a timeless continuum. Our ceremonial commencement involved holding sacred space for the intricately carved images depicting the ancient medicine of the past.

Emil and my peers discussed the profound healing powers encapsulated within these hallowed walls. Their words ignited a spark within me, prompting me to seek a sign for my healing.

And there it was—a revelation!

A symbol of backward sevens adorned with mushrooms between them. The significance hit me with a profound resonance; last year in Peru, I had been drawn to the healing powers of mushroom medicine, and now, the sign has resurfaced. Also, the backward sevens, a recurring motif throughout the temple, mirrored the scar on my leg. Seeking clarification, I turned to Emil, who revealed that it was the "symbol of god".

Holy Crap!

In awe, I realized that I was carrying a symbol of god on my very skin, engraved like the ancient temples surrounding me. The temple's walls unfolded the narrative of ancient medicine, providing tangible proof of a divine presence. Once more, I felt the embrace of godly energy.

Reflecting on my initial night on the Nile, where I unknowingly gave a blood sacrifice, I realized that the mark of god on my leg was a divine anointment. In that sacred moment, I reconnected with my power, magic, and the reemergence of my lost faith.

Sensing the charged atmosphere, Emil asked the group for a chantress, and all eyes turned to me. With a deep breath, I acknowledged my ability. As the melodious notes reverberated through the temple, I sensed the columns swaying with the energy of the sound waves.

Born to walk through the fire,

My ancestors taught me to be,

I was made for this mission,

I don't need your permission to be who I'm supposed to be,

That's me, that's me.

These words by India Arie, I experienced a profound healing moment, as if the temple recognized and remembered my voice. The vibrations echoed the realization that I had once used my voice here to build and heal.

Post-song ceremony, my comrades approached me individually, expressing gratitude for the transformative energy within their souls—a true kundalini awakening.

In certain ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics, a fascinating depiction of the king involves the imagery of being fed with small ankhs. This representation holds a profound symbolic meaning, suggesting the act of "breathing life into the king."

The ankh, a powerful symbol in ancient Egyptian iconography, resembles a cross with a loop at the top. It is often associated with life, immortality, and regeneration. When portrayed as part of the king's depiction, the ankh takes on a ritualistic significance, signifying the continuous cycle of life and the divine infusion of vitality into the ruler.

The act of feeding the king with ankhs implies spiritual nourishment, where the life force represented by the ankh is transferred to the king, reinforcing his divine and regal essence. This symbolic gesture aligns with the broader Egyptian belief in the interconnectedness of life, death, and rebirth, with the ankh serving as a potent conduit for this cyclical energy.

I realized that the ankh, symbolizing the key or the breath of life, resonated with my belief that singing was my way of offering the ankh, much like the priestesses bestowing it into the mouths of the king, but for me, those seeking healing.

Later that day, amidst joyous camaraderie, we joined the staff in a culinary adventure, celebrating my peer Diane's birthday with song and dance.

The night unfolded with laughter and discussions with friends, fueled by Mahmoud's playful humor. He jokes about returning with me in my suitcase and a proposal involving 10,000 camels, adding a light-hearted touch to our unforgettable Egyptian night.

Singing in The Healing Temple (A Poem)

Vibrating.

Standing under the hot sun in the Egyptian temples and among the ancient columns, I felt a rising vibration.

It was swaying me back and forth like a mother cradling her baby.

Gentle, soft, light.

Transformative.

It held me in an energy of Love of knowing and healing. 

Swaying to left and right. Back and forth.

Initiating both my masculine and feminine to join as one.

Integrated. Whole. One.

I felt hot tears come to my eyes as I felt hope restored to my body, mind, and heart.

A lightness and a release of the fear and darkness I held for so long.

TUES, OCT 3: Day of sailing, a swim in the Nile, a barbecue feast together on the island.

Remembering Joy

The following day unfolded as a leisurely retreat, where we immersed ourselves in the cleansing embrace of the Nile River. Bathing and singing felt like we were purging impurities from our very souls.

The Nile River holds profound spiritual significance in ancient Egyptian mythology and religious beliefs.

Personified as Hapy, the benevolent god of the Nile inundation, the river's annual flooding was viewed as divine, symbolizing the cycle of death and rebirth. This influenced beliefs in resurrection and the afterlife among the ancient Egyptians. The Nile played a pivotal role in mythological narratives, particularly in the story of Osiris, the god associated with the afterlife and resurrection.

The river served as a symbolic medium for Osiris' reassembly and resurrection by his sister-wife, Isis. The ancient Egyptians conducted rituals, ceremonies, and offerings to honor the deities associated with the Nile. While the spiritual emphasis on the Nile was most pronounced in ancient times, echoes of these beliefs persist in the cultural and religious practices of the region, preserving the enduring spiritual legacy of ancient Egyptian civilization.

In addition to its spiritual significance, the Nile River is historically, culturally, and economically significant. Referred to as the "cradle of civilization," the Nile's valley and delta were home to various ancient civilizations, including the Egyptians. The annual flooding of the Nile, known as the inundation, enriched the soil, enabling successful agriculture and contributing to the development of a complex society.

The Nile remains a vital economic resource, supporting agriculture, fisheries, and other industries, significantly contributing to the economies of Egypt and Sudan. It serves as a primary source of freshwater for the region, meeting crucial needs for drinking water and irrigation.

The river's historical and cultural importance, combined with its scenic beauty, makes it a popular destination for tourism, offering visitors the opportunity to explore ancient ruins, temples, and landscapes along its banks.

My peers, Jen, Mimi, and Marion, approached me, eager to share songs and requesting to join in harmony. The sincerity of their desire to find their voices touched me deeply. In seeking the songs and chants we shared, they seemed to be on a journey to cleanse their energies and liberate their voices. Reflecting on this, I can't help but feel a mix of joy and tears.

In a spirit of soul-feeding, I guided my peers in the art of breathing, emphasizing the importance of singing from the depths of their stomachs. The experience was transformative, leaving an indelible mark on our collective memory.

As the evening approached, a delightful BBQ dinner awaited us on a quaint island in the Nile. Arriving early with friends, we indulged in hookah and molasses, sharing laughter while eagerly awaiting the arrival of others.

Once the gathering was complete, we savored an exquisite African shish kebab meal. Mahmoud, our charismatic host, distributed basil leaves to the guests, giving me a generous bunch. The aromatic basil made me feel special, and when Youssef, one of our Egyptian guides, teasingly remarked, "Oooh, he likes you," I blushed, my friends joining in the playful banter. By this point in our journey, proposals from Egyptian men had become a regular occurrence, flattering me and making me feel like a queen.

Later, amidst banter and laughter, my friends and I engaged with the staff, relishing the opportunity to learn Arabic swear words. The joyous laughter echoed a sense of liberation I hadn't experienced in a long time.

Ecstacy (A Poem)

In the dance of ecstasy, my heart unfurls,

Warmth in my stomach as comfort swirls.

From the pelvis to the spine, a pulsating flow,

Oxytocin brain, where the fire does grow.

Ultimate joy, a symphony in my core,

Laughter and being seen forevermore.

Connected and known in this sacred space,

Basking in love's light, a divine embrace.

The heart bursts with excitement, a fluttering grace,

Tears of gratitude well on my soul's face.

For this moment alone, matters in its might,

In the here and now, love takes its flight.

Not in my head, but in energy's embrace,

Body, psyche, and soul, a harmonious chase.

From water on my tongue to a lover's hand,

In the symphony of senses, love's whispers stand.

WED, OCT 4: Horse and buggy ride to Edfu (Temple of Horus) and evening visit to a local village and private homes.

Balancing Chaos

Today marked our visit to the awe-inspiring Temple of Horus, an experience forewarned by Emil for its chaotic and intensely masculine energy. Stepping off the boat into the bustling city, I was surrounded by a clamor of voices and chaotic energy. It was an instant immersion into an intense atmosphere, and I braced myself for what lay ahead.

Horus is one of ancient Egyptian mythology's most significant and revered deities. He is often depicted as a falcon-headed god, representing the sky and celestial forces. Horus was associated with various aspects, including kingship, protection, and the sun. The mythological narrative surrounding Horus involves his battle with his uncle, Set, who murdered Horus's father, Osiris. The conflict between Horus and Set symbolized the struggle between order and chaos, with Horus ultimately emerging victorious and becoming a symbol of kingship and justice.

The Temple of Horus, also known as the Edfu Temple, is one of the best-preserved ancient Egyptian temples and is dedicated to the worship of Horus. This temple stands as a remarkable testament to the architectural and artistic achievements of the ancient Egyptians, preserving the rich tapestry of their religious and cultural heritage.

Opting for a horse buggy alongside Nancy, the journey to the temple revealed a poignant aspect of local life – the horses, thin and malnourished, bearing visible sores and wounds. The realization of their arduous daily task, ferrying people through the heat with little regard for their well-being, stirred a deep sense of empathy and concern within me.

The chaos persisted upon reaching the Temple of Horus, with eager merchants vying for our attention and attempting to peddle their wares. The scorching heat added to the challenge, swiftly draining my energy reserves.

Thirsty and fatigued, I found solace upon our return to the boat a few hours later. Mahmoud and the attentive staff greeted us with replenishing water and comforting tea, providing a welcome respite.

As the day gracefully transitioned into the evening, I deliberately set aside a dedicated period for introspection and self-care. The tumultuous energy of the day was released in the pages of my journal, becoming a canvas for the myriad thoughts and emotions that had stirred within me.

In a poignant moment of connection, I turned to writing letters to my loved ones. This act became more than a mere expression; it evolved into a therapeutic endeavor, a deliberate sharing of my heart with those whose presence had shaped and transformed it. Each word penned was a testament to the profound impact they held in my life.

During this reflective time, thoughts of Susan surfaced, spurred by the inspiration of Liz's mention of the song "Down To The River And Pray." Moved by a desire to honor her memory, I opened the boat's window as it sailed along. With the gentle breeze carrying the melody, I sang Susan the heartfelt song, a tribute that culminated in the tender act of releasing her ashes into the river below. It was a solemn yet cathartic moment, a way to connect with the past and find solace in the embrace of the flowing waters.

My peers embarked on an evening visit to a local village. In contrast, I chose to remain on the boat, seeking tranquility and restoration after the energetic tumult of the day. From the deck, I witnessed the sun gracefully setting, casting a warm glow over the Nile, a serene moment that calmed my weary soul.

The juxtaposition of the intense Temple of Horus visit and the quiet solitude on the boat allowed me to navigate the contrasting energies, finding balance and rejuvenation in the embrace of the Nile's gentle currents.

My Malik (A Poem)

In one step, a slip, a cut

I land upon the Nile

Held by Set - the god of chaos, magic, and power

A blood sacrifice

To receive the mark of God herself

Malik - My King rises

Kneeling before me to clean my wounds

I want to run and hide - lick my own wounds

But my Malik refuses to leave me behind

Healing my scar and my heart

THURS, OCT 5: Temple of Khnumb in Esna, walk through the town, and visit with local merchants.

Echos of Ancient Love

The ensuing day unfolded with a tranquil grace as we strolled through the charming town of Esna, our destination being the remarkable Temple of Khnumb. The temple, a testament to Egypt's ancient splendor, struck me with its beauty. In an instant, a cascade of images transported me back to when the temple was an explosion of colors rather than the weathered stones that now stood before me.

I remember.

Entering the temple was akin to stepping into a mesmerizing realm where vibrant images and colors captivated my senses. The sight was so enchanting that I couldn't resist capturing it through numerous photographs, each frame a testament to the enduring astonishment it elicited. As we explored, engaging with European archaeologists studying the intricate columns and hieroglyphics, it became apparent that the temple was an ongoing discovery, revealing its secrets even after countless years. The scars of excavation and the remnants of attempts by Christians to dismantle the carvings bore witness to the temple's enduring allure.

The Temple of Khnum in Esna holds significant spiritual importance within the context of ancient Egyptian religious practices. Dedicated to Khnum, a revered deity associated with creation and fertility, the temple served as a sacred site where worshippers sought blessings and engaged in spiritual rituals. These rituals, including ceremonies, prayers, and symbolic offerings, were vital in maintaining cosmic balance and harmony.

The temple's annual festivals attracted pilgrims for communal worship, celebrations, and spiritual reflection, featuring processions and offerings to honor Khnum. The architectural features, such as the hypostyle hall and adorned columns, conveyed religious narratives and symbols related to Khnum's worship. The zodiac ceiling, reflecting the ancient Egyptians' connection between religious beliefs and celestial forces, symbolized the cosmic order and celestial influences on earthly events. The buried chambers beneath Esna added an intriguing layer to the temple's spiritual significance, providing a glimpse into hidden sacred spaces and contributing to its rich spiritual legacy.

The spiritual importance of the Temple of Khnum in Esna encompasses its role as a sacred center for Khnum worship, hosting rituals and festivals, and featuring symbolic architecture reflecting religious narratives. The annual gatherings brought worshippers together for communal celebrations, processions, and offerings to honor the deity associated with creation and fertility. The temple's architectural design, including the hypostyle hall and adorned columns, conveyed religious symbolism, fostering a sacred space for spiritual connection. The zodiac ceiling, representing the cosmic order and celestial influences, further emphasized the connection between religious beliefs and celestial forces. Additionally, the buried chambers beneath Esna, once rediscovered, provided insight into hidden sacred dimensions of the temple, contributing to its enduring spiritual legacy in ancient Egyptian culture.

Moreover, the temple's connection to celestial forces, symbolized by the zodiac ceiling, underscores the ancient Egyptians' belief in the influence of celestial bodies on earthly affairs. The symbolism embedded in the temple's architectural elements, such as the hypostyle hall and adorned columns, conveyed religious narratives and reinforced the sacred space's spiritual atmosphere. The buried chambers, once concealed beneath the town of Esna, added an element of mystery and revealed hidden sacred spaces that likely held profound spiritual significance for worshippers. In essence, the Temple of Khnum in Esna emerges as a multifaceted testament to the spiritual richness of ancient Egyptian culture, blending architectural symbolism, celestial connections, and hidden sacred chambers into a cohesive narrative of religious significance.

(Moon cycle in the above picture)

Our journey through the town extended beyond the temple's precincts, allowing us to immerse ourselves in the local tapestry by interacting with merchants and delving deeper into the ancient ways of Egypt.

The afternoon afforded me the luxury of another session of writing and serene moments spent with friends. As the evening cast its gentle glow, I had the privilege of engaging in a heart-to-heart conversation with Mahmoud. We delved into the intricacies of his Egyptian family and past, sharing intimate secrets that forged a deeper connection. His kind heart, sense of humor, joy, positivity, attention to detail, and unwavering service drew me to him, and in the quietude of that moment, feelings began to blossom between us.

That night, a forgotten vision from a previous breathwork session resurfaced in my mind. I recalled seeing a tall, slender, dark man with a distinct haircut, identified as a healer. A vision of being served a plate of African food had emerged in the same breathwork. It was a revelation I had shared with my teacher, who suggested it might be someone I would encounter in Egypt. Brushing it off initially, I now realized the man from my vision was Mahmoud – a striking resemblance that left me in awe.

I remember.

Confiding in Natasha about this revelation, she warmly embraced my secret, encouraging me to follow my heart and intuition as I navigated the blossoming connection with Mahmoud. The enchanting day had become a tapestry woven with threads of ancient wonders, personal discovery, and the delicate beginnings of a profound connection.

Feelings (A Poem)

In the realm of overwhelm and gratitude's tune,

Feeling unworthy, yet embracing what's soon.

Exhaustion and exhilaration, a tandem ride,

Sentimental echoes, where emotions reside.

A flood of feelings, a torrent so vast,

Numbing sensations, a disconnection cast.

Yet, I whisper to myself, stay in this embrace,

For even the challenges unveil magic's grace.

In the openness, my heart beats wide,

Ready for the next message, the gifts to guide.

An emergence unfolds, from darkness to light,

In the dance of love, fear takes its flight.

Fear of the unknown, a shadowed cast,

Yet, in readiness, I find strength to last.

Breaking open, wide as the dawn,

Let the light pour in, a transformation drawn.

FRI, OCT 6: Bus ride to Dendera (Hathor Temple) and Abydos (and the Osirean Complex with Flower of Life), and dayabia farwell dinner.

Sanatorium Healing

The following day began early for us, and it felt like I hadn't slept much due to late-night conversations and early wake-ups. Despite the lack of sleep, I was thrilled about the upcoming trip. Apart from the Isis Temple, my main reason for being there was Hathor. Hathor, an ancient Egyptian goddess associated with love, motherhood, music, dance, and fertility, held a special place in my journey.

Hathor, often depicted as a cow or a woman with a cow's head, symbolized fertility and nurturing. In Egyptian mythology, she played diverse roles, including being a protective deity during childbirth and having connections to the afterlife. Hathor's influence extended to religious rituals, festivals, and wide worship throughout ancient Egypt. Personally, I felt connected to her energy of joy, beauty, and the arts.

While exploring the Temple of Isis, I discovered a small temple dedicated to Hathor. Capturing carvings of music and musicians reignited my love and creativity for music and song. I was on a quest to rediscover my joy and heal my own voice.

The morning at Dendera Temple Complex was beautiful, with a gentle breeze and warm sunlight. Hathor's feminine, gentle energy was palpable upon arrival, a stark contrast to the chaos of Horus' Temple. Exploring carvings of joy, music, and playful dancing on the walls and columns brought light to my heart and mood.

Dendera served not only as a destination for pilgrimage but also for healing. Patients seeking cures were accommodated in hospitals called sanatoriums, where diverse treatments were administered. Spiritual healing played a significant role; some attributed miraculous recoveries to Hathor. Dendera acted as a holistic healthcare facility, addressing various conditions through contemporary and mystical therapies.

Offerings to Hathor in front of the inner sanctuary, with the belief in the healing process involving holy water flowing over magical inscriptions, added to the spiritual significance. The complex included structures like the Temple of Hathor, Birth of Isis Temple, Sacred Lake, Sanatorium, Mammisi of Nectanebo II, Christian Basilica, Roman Mammisi, a Barque shrine, Gateways of Domitian and Trajan, and a Roman Kiosk, contributing to its religious, cultural, and healing aspects.

We gathered to learn about the temple and had the chance to sing light into one of the rooms with an astrological chart of the 12 zodiacs from thousands of years before. It was an awe-inspiring and magical moment for us.

After gaining knowledge about the Sanatorium after our ceremony gathering, I decided to visit it. Taking a moment of solitude, I sought to channel Susan's energy and scattered her ashes throughout the healing quarters. I collected three rocks from the ancient healing place, placing them carefully in my medicine bag. One of these rocks was intended for Mary, a dear friend who shared a close bond with Susan.

During my solitary walk back to the bus, a merchant approached me, offering a unique Hathor instrument. It was a golden instrument with a carving of Hathor's face and cymbals, intriguing me enough to purchase. This instrument added to my collection of unique finds from each trip, such as a double flute from Peru the previous year.

Later, I found out this was called a sistrum. The sistrum is a sacred and musical tool associated with the ancient Egyptian goddess Hathor. Crafted with precision and significance, this instrument plays a vital role in rituals and ceremonies dedicated to Hathor, the goddess of music, dance, joy, fertility, and love.

Handmade in Egypt, the sistrum is a testament to the craftsmanship and artistry of ancient Egyptian culture. Its design typically consists of a handle and a loop containing metal rods or wires, creating a jingling sound when shaken. The distinctive sound produced by the sistrum is believed to have a transformative and purifying effect, making it an essential element in religious practices.

During rituals dedicated to Hathor, worshippers would use the sistrum to invoke the goddess's divine presence. The rhythmic and melodic sounds produced by the instrument were thought to resonate with the cosmic forces, creating a harmonious connection between the earthly and divine realms.

The sistrum also held symbolic significance, representing the cyclical nature of life, creation, and rebirth—themes closely associated with Hathor. As a goddess of joy and celebration, the sistrum played a role in festivities, ceremonies, and processions, bringing a sense of jubilation to religious gatherings.

The careful construction of the sistrum, coupled with its use in sacred ceremonies, highlights the importance of music, rhythm, and sound in ancient Egyptian spirituality. The sistrum, as a conduit for divine energy, continues to be a fascinating artifact that provides insight into ancient Egypt's rich religious and cultural practices.

As the day progressed, fatigue set in from the long nights and early mornings. We visited a few other places, but my memory blurred as exhaustion took over. Returning just before our farewell dinner, I dressed for the occasion, choosing the perfect dress. The evening was filled with feasting, dancing, and singing, creating great memories.

The night concluded with exchanging contact information with Mahmoud to stay in touch. Unexpectedly, he kissed me, and at that moment, I saw visions of ancient Egypt and King Tut. It felt like kissing a king disguised as a servant. Mahmoud's connection to ancient Egyptian heritage seemed embedded in his DNA. Holding hands and capturing the moment in photos, it was bitter-sweet knowing I would leave him early the next morning, uncertain if our paths would cross again.

My Love (A Poem)

My love, a boundless abyss, ceaselessly flows,

A torrent of creation, in healing it glows.

A fire that burns, fierce and so bright,

Melting insecurities, transforming with its light.

Over and over, a metamorphic dance,

A deep love that holds, in a compassionate trance.

A vortex of caring for many Souls to embrace,

In the depths of my love, a sacred space.

Traveling like light through the cosmic expanse,

Impacting all beings in a celestial dance.

Overflowing, gifting, an energetic kiss,

Deeper and deeper, into the abyss of love, I bliss.

Ever-expanding, touching stars, planets, and Milky Way,

My love, an eternal flow, an endless ballet.

In the depths of my soul, where its roots lay,

Deeper and deeper, my love finds its way.

Sat, OCT 7: Early morning visit to Hatshepsut Temple, entrance to Valley of Kings, visit to the alabaster store, check-in at the Sonesta St George hotel, and visit to the Luxor jewelry store (Radwan).

Awakening My Power

The transition from the boat marked a profound shift in my energy on that Saturday morning. As we bid farewell to the boat, its staff, and Mahmoud, tears welled up in my eyes. A water taxi transported us to Luxor, "my king's" home city. The early hours found us at the majestic Hatshepsut Temple, its grandeur enhanced by the absence of other tourists.

The Hatshepsut Temple, often called the Temple of Hatshepsut or Djeser-Djeseru, stands majestically on the serene west bank of the Nile River, a testament to the enduring grandeur of ancient Egyptian architecture. Nestled near the renowned Valley of the Kings, this temple is not merely a physical structure but a sacred embodiment of spiritual and historical significance.

Commissioned by the iconic female pharaoh Hatshepsut, the temple reflects a unique architectural style characterized by terraces, colonnades, and intricate reliefs. Each element of its design is a deliberate expression of divine symbolism, echoing ancient Egypt's spiritual beliefs and practices. Djeser-Djeseru, translating to "the Holy of Holies," denotes the sanctity bestowed upon this sacred site.

As one traverses the terraced structure, it is not merely an exploration of physical space but a spiritual journey through the realms of ancient Egyptian cosmology. The temple served as a conduit between the earthly and divine, a place where mortals could commune with the gods. The grandeur of the architecture, adorned with exquisite carvings and depictions of pharaonic rituals, attests to the spiritual significance embedded in every stone.

The location of the Hatshepsut Temple is strategic, aligning with the broader sacred landscape of the Nile and the Valley of the Kings. Such alignment was believed to have cosmic and spiritual significance, connecting the temple to the celestial forces that governed the cycles of life, death, and rebirth. The Nile, considered a lifeline and symbol of divine creation, adds a layer of spiritual resonance to the temple's presence on its banks.

Welcoming the sunrise at the temple, we then swiftly boarded the bus for the Valley of the Kings. This renowned archaeological site served as the burial ground for pharaohs and nobles of the New Kingdom period. An inner calling led me into the tombs despite fatigue and swollen ankles. The intricate passageways, adorned with religious texts and spells, left me astounded.

Emerging from the Valley of the Kings depths, a profound transformation unfolded within me. Stepping out into the sunlight, I felt a transcendent and magical energy envelop me—a moment of sheer enchantment. In that instant, I was not just a traveler exploring ancient tombs but connected with something far greater. It was a moment of profound realization, an awakening that resonated through the very core of my being.

In the radiant sunlight, amid the ancient echoes of the Valley, the realization washed over me—I was a Queen. The air seemed to vibrate with the echoes of a distant time, and I felt an unbreakable bond with the land beneath my feet. Egypt wasn't just a destination; it was my home. The weight of history, the grandeur of the temples, and the whispers of the past converged into a powerful affirmation of identity.

Embracing this profound realization, I stood there amidst the ancient landscape, feeling the echoes of queens who had walked these paths before me. It wasn't merely a visit to historical sites but a recognition of a deep-seated connection. At that moment, the resonance of Egypt as my true home became undeniable.

The enchantment lingered, casting a spell that transcended time and space. The Valley of the Kings had not merely revealed ancient tombs but had unveiled a deeper truth—an affirmation of royalty, a connection to the past, and a sense of belonging that echoed through the ages. It was a moment where the boundaries between past and present blurred, and the Queen within me, dormant for centuries, awoke to claim her rightful place in the tapestry of Egyptian history.

Exiting the Valley of the Kings, I conducted a personal experiment, imagining a protective force field around me. This visualization, stretching three feet out, became a powerful intention, shielding me from the persistent approaches of merchants in the market. Recognizing my newfound power, I navigated the market with ease, untouched by the usual harassment.

As fatigue set in on the bus, my mood fluctuated. Opting to rest, I skipped an Alabaster store visit and found solace in a nap before lunch. During the lunch, a waiter's proposal sparked amusement, yet the continuous attention from Egyptian men, once flattering, now became bothersome. Emil, our Egyptian guide, persisted in making me a match. LOL

After lunch, we head to the hotel. Resting in our hotel room provided a much-needed break, and another nap ensued. While my peers explored a famous silver jewelry store, I sent money for treasures. Fatigue persisted, and I slept until my friends returned, missing the shopping expedition.

Amidst the weariness that had settled in, Marion's genuine concern for my well-being shone through as she arrived at my room before dinner. A gesture of kindness unfolded as she presented me with a beautiful scarf. Grateful for her thoughtfulness, I draped the scarf over my head, appreciating its comforting touch against my skin.

As we shared this moment, laughter bubbled up, creating a lively atmosphere in the room. The act of adorning the scarf transformed into a shared experience, a spontaneous ritual that transcended the physical act of wearing it. In that instant, we embraced the whimsical idea that I was a queen, and Marion and Natasha became my priestesses.

The room echoed with joy as we captured the essence of this impromptu ceremony through photographs. The scarf, now more than a mere accessory, became a symbol of camaraderie and support. In our playful banter, we delved into the fantasy, imagining ourselves in the roles of ancient Egyptian royalty and priestesses.

The images we created were not just snapshots frozen in time; they became a testament to the resilience and camaraderie forged during the journey. The shared laughter and the lighthearted exchange of roles brought a sense of unity and joy, momentarily lifting the fatigue that had settled over me.

In that adorned scarf, surrounded by friendship and laughter, I looked and felt like an Egyptian queen. The shared experience with Marion became a cherished memory, a reminder that even in the midst of physical exhaustion, the bonds formed during the trip could infuse moments with magical and uplifting energy.

Natasha's thoughtful gesture of bringing back treasures for me added a delightful touch to the evening. As I eagerly examined the amazing pieces she had acquired, a sense of gratitude and appreciation welled up within me. Each item told a story, a unique find that reflected Natasha's keen eye for distinctive artifacts. The shared excitement over these newfound treasures became a bonding moment, reinforcing the camaraderie that had developed among us during the journey.

As we prepared for dinner, Natasha, brimming with enthusiasm, chose to join me despite having procured a substantial bucket of KFC. Her eagerness and longing for the familiar taste of Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) became a source of amusement and a shared inside joke among our group. It was a delightful juxtaposition—experiencing the richness of Egyptian culture while relishing the comfort of a global fast-food favorite.

With a pound of chicken from the coveted KFC bucket in hand, Natasha and I indulged in a few pieces before joining the others at the dinner table.

Exhausted, I fell asleep and had a dream about Queen Nefertari, the Great Royal Wife of Pharaoh Ramses II. Known for her intelligence and scholarly pursuits, she engaged in hieroglyphic study and played a significant role in religious ceremonies. The dream sparked a curiosity about a potential connection with Queen Nefertari, prompting further exploration and research.

The dream's significance lingered, and the encounter with Queen Nefertari in my sleep left me pondering whether I had a past connection with her, channeled her energy, or experienced a visitation. The mystery unfolded months later when an Ancient Aliens episode provided unexpected insights, confirming her identity and deepening the enigma surrounding our connection. The quest to understand this mystical encounter and its implications continued to unfold, leaving me with lingering questions about the spiritual journey I had embarked upon in the land of Egypt.

Transformed (A Poem)

Exhausted by gratitude's overwhelming tide,

A leveling up, love's embrace open wide.

Kindness and kinship, a novel plane,

Being seen, being me, a newfound terrain.

Quiet strength echoes in my presence, so still,

Through trials and tribulations, I've climbed uphill.

Understanding why I weathered the storm,

To stand here, empowered, transformed.

My aura, a testament, speaks volumes untold,

Transmuting energy, a power to behold.

Meant to be here, witnessing my truth unfold,

Spiraling through cosmic energies, stories untold.

Like the snake sheds skin, I shed expectations too,

Kundalini spirals, a cosmic debut.

A healing goddess, a presence, profound,

Transforming souls, a dance all around.

SUN, OCT 8: Morning hot air balloon ride on the banks of Luxor, evening visit to Luxor Temple (Temple of Man), shopping at Aladdin's Hule and street markets of Luxor.

Flying High

The following day commenced with an early awakening, greeted by the messages of concerned friends regarding my safety. Unbeknownst to me, the conflict between Gaza and Israel had erupted the day before, potentially contributing to the unexplained shift in my energy. After reassuring my friends of my well-being, realizing the geopolitical context added a layer of significance to the experiences that awaited.

In the pre-dawn darkness, my fellow travelers and I were surprised with a thoughtful gift from John and Julianne. Sneaking out the back of the hotel, we found ourselves on a water taxi that transported us to a van, unveiling the exciting adventure that awaited us—Hot Air Balloons! This unexpected treat turned out to be one of the most cherished moments of the entire journey. Despite my usual apprehension towards heights, a sense of calm and steadiness enveloped me throughout the epic ride. The breathtaking views of Luxor, with the Nile River dividing the lush greenery and the desert, offered a unique perspective. From above, the temples, the Valley of Kings, and the statues revealed themselves in all their grandeur.

Upon disembarking from the balloon, I checked my social media to discover a delightful revelation—the graphic-designed book I had created was going public. Commissioned by a co-author to design a love affirmations book, I crafted a bursting heart motif, intuitively mirroring the love unfolding in my own life. The book, aptly titled "Love Affirmations," now intersected with my journey in Egypt, becoming a portal to magic and love. Sharing the design, I basked in the glow of its publication, a serendipitous alignment with the enchantment of the trip.

Returning to the hotel for breakfast, Natasha and Marion accompanied me to the jewelry store, where I acquired a powerful silver wrist bracelet adorned with the ankh and scarab symbols. Its beauty and symbolism resonated deeply, a tangible emblem of strength fit for a queen.

Embracing the spirit of exploration, Natasha, Marion, and I ventured out to explore the bustling markets, eager to discover hidden treasures in the vibrant tapestry of Luxor. Our curiosity led us to a quaint shop adorned with Egyptian kaftans, each piece telling a story of ancient craftsmanship. As we immersed ourselves in the rich colors and intricate designs, the allure of the exotic captured our senses.

In the midst of our shopping escapade, my attention was drawn to a captivating aroma that lingered in the air. Following the enchanting scent, I discovered a collection of perfume oils. Among them, one fragrance stood out—a scent that evoked memories of Mahmoud and our shared magical moments. Intrigued, I inquired about the name of the perfume, and the merchant, in his poetic Arabic, uttered a phrase that translated to "Crazy Love."

Amused by the serendipity of the name, Natasha and Marion couldn't help but share a laugh as they learned of my fragrant discovery. Undeterred by the whimsical moniker, I decided to commemorate my whirlwind love adventure with Mahmoud. With a sense of nostalgia and a touch of whimsy, I purchased a whole bottle of the perfume oil, intending it to be a tangible reminder of the passionate and unexpected journey that had unfolded in the arms of crazy love.

Despite my exhaustion and swollen state as night fell, I summoned the energy to visit Luxor Temple. The Temple of Luxor, also known as the "Temple of Man," is imbued with profound symbolism reflecting the ancient Egyptian concept of the human body,  reflecting the profound connection between the divine and the mortal within the framework of ancient Egyptian beliefs.

The entrance pylon of the Luxor Temple is symbolic of the spinal column, standing tall and robust, much like the backbone of a human body. As one progresses through the temple, the Avenue of Sphinxes serves as a protective spinal cord, leading to large pylons and open courts representing the limbs and joints. The hypostyle hall, with its grid-like arrangement of columns, mirrors the internal organs within the human body. Further in, the inner sanctuaries and chapels can be analogized to the head and vital organs, with the central sacred space housing divine representations akin to the most sacred aspects of the human form. This intricate symbolism underscores the interconnectedness between the temple, the individual, and the cosmic order in the rich tapestry of ancient Egyptian religious beliefs.

As the night progressed, my energy plummeted further. Eventually, recognizing my limits, I requested to be taken back to the bus, and the sweet escort by Youssef eased my way. While my companions explored the markets, I opted for much-needed rest, taking a peaceful nap.

The night concluded with our return to the hotel, where I succumbed to exhaustion, crashing for the remainder of the night. In the quiet surrender of sleep, the day's adventures and the unfolding magic of Egypt settled into the realm of dreams, preparing me for the wonders yet to come.

The Hardest Parts (A Poem)

In the alchemy of life, the hardest parts unfold,

A symphony of transformation, a tale yet untold.

For without friction, a pearl stays unborn,

Challenges weave change, a fabric well worn.

In the crucible of awakening, rudeness shakes us awake,

A friend's final breath, love's tragic quake.

Pain in the wounds of the fallen we bear,

The hard parts unveil what we no longer wear.

Layers shed, what no longer serves, we release,

Held back, hidden, isolated, finding peace.

In the struggle's embrace, control takes flight,

Breaking us open, vulnerable, heart alight.

Ready for the next step, brilliance in the strife,

Lessons learned in the tapestry of life.

In the crucible's heat, in darkness and shards,

It's in the hardest parts that brilliance regards.

MON, OCT 9 Visit to Karnak (Ptah Precinct with Living Statue of Sekhmet, circumnavigatIon of the scarab, sightseeing statues, holy of holies, obelisks, and Khonsu Temple), flight to Cairo, check-in at Mena House.

Crashing into Reality

As the sun ushered in a new day, I consciously diverged from the early awakening that beckoned my peers. The day's events unfolded without my immediate presence as I chose to skip and embark on a personal reset. My body, weary and marked by noticeable swelling, craved respite. In the cocoon of my chosen seclusion, I permitted myself the luxury of an extended slumber—a gentle surrender to the restorative powers of sleep.

I recognized the need for physical and spiritual rejuvenation, so I reached out to John with a heartfelt request. I implored him to channel the nurturing energy of Sekhmet, the lioness goddess of healing, as I embraced a period of rest. The ancient deity's presence, woven into the fabric of my repose, became a soothing balm, addressing the fatigue that lingered from the journey.

Sekhmet is an ancient Egyptian goddess, often depicted as a lioness or with the head of a lioness. She is a powerful, fierce deity associated with war, healing, and protection. Sekhmet is considered a daughter of the sun god Ra, and her name translates to "the powerful one" or "the mighty one."

In Egyptian mythology, Sekhmet is sometimes described as the eye of Ra, symbolizing the destructive and protective aspects of the sun. She is believed to breathe fire and is associated with the sun's heat, embodying both the creative and destructive forces of solar energy.

Sekhmet is often invoked for her protective qualities, particularly in times of war, and she is also revered as a healer with the ability to ward off illness. Despite her fearsome nature, she has a benevolent aspect associated with maintaining cosmic balance and justice.

A temple is dedicated to Sekhmet within the Karnak Temple complex in Luxor, Egypt. This temple is known as the "Mortuary Temple of Amenhotep III" and features many Sekhmet statues. The temple was built during the 18th dynasty by Amenhotep III and was dedicated to various deities, including Sekhmet.

The statues of Sekhmet in the Karnak complex depict her in her traditional form as a lioness or with the head of a lioness. The presence of these statues reflects the significance of Sekhmet in ancient Egyptian religious practices and the belief in her protective and healing attributes. The Karnak Temple complex is a vast religious site with multiple temples and structures dedicated to different deities, making it a rich archaeological and spiritual destination.

Amidst the tranquility of my restful interlude, the impending return journey to Cairo loomed on the horizon. As I stirred from my peaceful respite, the act of packing became a rhythmic dance—each item carefully placed bore witness to the unfolding chapters of my Egyptian sojourn. The suitcase, a vessel of memories and experiences, awaited its return to the bustling heart of Cairo.

The flight back to Cairo presented an unexpected opportunity for connection. In its whimsical design, Destiny seated me next to Tracey—a fellow traveler with whom I had yet to share a meaningful exchange during the trip. The airborne hours transformed into a canvas where conversations painted vivid strokes of shared stories and newfound camaraderie. Tracey and I delved into conversations that transcended the mundane, weaving a tapestry of connection above the clouds.

Upon our descent into Cairo, the Mena House emerged as our haven against the velvety backdrop of the night. Despite the late hour, the hotel's historical embrace welcomed us, providing a sanctuary for our travel-weary souls. However, the luxury of repose was fleeting, for the Great Pyramid of Giza beckoned in the predawn hours. The anticipation of this iconic rendezvous filled the air as I retired for a brief nap, knowing that the night held secrets yet to be unveiled beneath the ancient Egyptian sky.

Aligning (A POEM)

The hardest feat I've known, aligning with just me,

Stepping into a new way, bold and free.

Following intuition to lands far and wide,

Leaving imprints, a lone wolf on this self-discovery ride.

To travel solo, supporting self with pride,

The lone wolf roams when the pack won't abide.

To be complete, to stand out and speak,

A journey of self, where strength and vulnerability peak.

In alignment with self, a courageous decree,

Charting a course to where I'm meant to be.

Through the ebb and flow of life's rhythmic sea,

The hardest thing—living true to yourself is living free.

TUES, OCT 10: Early morning (3-5 am), visit to the Great Pyramid of Giza (Group Love Initiation in Queen and King's Chambers), visit a perfume/oil shop (Shahinaz Perfumes Palace), visit to Old Cairo (St Sergius and St Bacchus Church, Oldest Synagogue, place where Moses was pulled from the Nile, local Nunnery, and Old Cairo shops), visit to Cairo papyrus shop.

Light Transmutation

The clock struck 2:30 am, signaling our collective awakening for the grand finale of our Egyptian adventure. Gathering together, we embarked on a bus ride shrouded in the darkness of the night, approaching the majestic Great Pyramid mountain. Climbing the formidable rock to reach the entrance, it felt like we were entering a mystical cave. Ascending stairs that shot straight up the pyramid, the sight before us was awe-inspiring and tinged with an exhilarating sense of fear. As I climbed effortlessly, my breath momentarily struggled in the thin air.

The Great Pyramid of Giza, one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, stands as a testament to ancient Egypt's remarkable architectural and engineering prowess. Constructed during the Fourth Dynasty around 2580–2560 BCE, the pyramid served as the burial tomb for Pharaoh Khufu. Its historical significance extends to its precise alignment with the cardinal points, showcasing the ancient Egyptians' advanced knowledge of astronomy and mathematics.

Within the pyramid, the Queen's Chambers, whose purpose remains debated, are suggested to have had a symbolic or ritualistic function. The King's Chambers, located higher in the pyramid, house the primary burial chambers and a red granite sarcophagus, embodying the intricate design for the pharaoh's journey to the afterlife. The structure's spiritual significance is rooted in theories connecting it to cosmic symbolism and the pharaoh's ascent to the heavens, reflecting the profound religious beliefs of ancient Egyptian culture.

Entering the Queen's Chamber marked the commencement of a beautiful ceremony, a sacred space where we sought to upgrade our DNA and be filled with divine light. The resounding "I am Light" echo permeated the pyramid's chambers as beautiful voices blended in harmonious chants. After completing this transformative ceremony, we ascended further, approaching the King's Chambers. The energy within this room was unprecedented— an eerie breeze enveloped us as we gathered in a circle against the walls. Chants resonated, and the energy electrified us, inducing a collective trance. I channeled beautiful melodies, the music flowing through me, filling my entire being with absolute bliss and peace.

As the collective chants reverberated within the sacred confines of the King's Chambers, time itself seemed to bow to the mystical energy that enveloped us. The rhythmic cadence of our voices, interwoven with the ancient vibrations of the pyramid, created a timeless symphony. It was as if the boundaries of hours and minutes dissolved, allowing us to exist in a state that transcended the conventional constraints of time.

In that ethereal moment, the boundary between wakefulness and slumber blurred. The chants became a vessel, carrying us into a realm where the conscious and subconscious seamlessly intertwined. I was suspended between realms, half-asleep yet fully immersed in the energy that pulsed through the pyramid. The experience was akin to traversing the corridors of a dream, where the lines between reality and the ethereal became beautifully blurred.

This juncture became a cornerstone in the narrative of my life—a profound moment etched in the fabric of my existence. The resonance of the chants, the energy that permeated the space, and the collective channeling formed a tapestry of significance that surpassed any other experience. It was a communion with something beyond the tangible, a profound connection to the ancient mysteries embedded in the heart of the Great Pyramid.

Exiting the pyramid, the transition was remarkably effortless, as if the sacred structure itself cradled us in its departure. Stepping out into the cool night, a gentle breeze caressed my face, heightening the overwhelming sense of gratitude that welled within. The air, carrying whispers of the ancient secrets witnessed within the pyramid, wrapped around me like a comforting embrace. It was a moment of completion, a profound acknowledgment of the transformative journey that had unfolded within the heart of the ancient marvel.

As I emerged into the serene night, the cool breeze gently reminded me that I had traversed realms beyond the ordinary. The sense of gratitude swelled, not just for the experience itself but for the profound sense of completion that accompanied it. In the quiet aftermath, I stood beneath the cosmic canvas, enveloped in the echoes of our chants, and felt a deep resonance with the mysteries that had unfolded within the Great Pyramid—a culmination that transcended the mere ascent and descent of its colossal structure.

Returning to the hotel, I succumbed to deep slumber, skipping breakfast and rising only in the evening. The fatigue that had clung to me since the previous days persisted, tempering my ability to engage fully in the events that followed. Despite my genuine interest in the planned ventures—such as visiting a perfume/oil shop, exploring Old Cairo's historical landmarks, and a trip to a Cairo papyrus shop—my body and spirit protested against further exertion.

As my peers ventured into the vibrant streets of Old Cairo and explored the cultural treasures that awaited them, I found solace in the quiet confines of my temporary sanctuary. The decision to skip these events was not borne out of disinterest but rather a concession to the profound weariness that had settled within me. In those moments of solitude, I reflected on the journey that had unfolded, cherishing the memories created and embracing the hope that someday, under different circumstances, I could return to embark on that journey.

Despite my weariness, I joined everyone for a farewell dinner, cherishing the moments spent with Natasha and Marion for one last night. We sang songs, shared poetry, discussed returning home, and deeply appreciated our forged bonds.

As the night unfolded, I realized how much I would miss these cherished companions and hoped for the opportunity to embark on this transformative journey once again someday.

Living Authentically (A Poem)

In a world free of offense, upset, and disappointment's sting,

I'd follow my heart's melody and let my authenticity sing.

Speaking into the universe, a voice unbridled and true,

Singing, traveling, connecting to the Earth's vibrant hue.

What restrains my joy, hindering the freedom to be,

To sing and write without fear, wholly, unapologetically.

No more staying in the lines, a palette unrestrained,

Traveling, leaving, detached, my dreams unchained.

Packing up to work online, out of conventional bounds,

Demanding worth, breaking through societal mounds.

Telling friends of my global journey, leaving them behind,

Working abroad, a nomad, unafraid of what I might find.

Loving boldly, without constraints, a heart unconfined,

Treated as royalty in a world where jealousy is blind.

No competition, love as I dare,

In a world where authenticity is rare.

WED, OCT 11: Travel home. Bon voyage!

Farewell to My Home

The following day marked the group's dispersal, as everyone had different flight times. With my departure scheduled for the following morning at 3 am, I spent the day with Natasha and Marion until they departed.

Alone and without a hotel room, I sought solace at the pool, reclining in a patio chair. I was overcome with emotion in the quietude, shedding tears at the beauty of the recently concluded journey and the impending separation. The prospect of returning home loomed, and I harbored fears about integrating the powerful messages and lessons from this transformative expedition.

Embarking on the odyssey through ancient Egyptian landscapes unraveled a profound chapter of self-discovery and spiritual awakening. The overarching theme of remembering my power intertwined with the narrative, manifesting in moments of profound connection with sacred energies, ancient monuments, and fellow travelers. The mystical encounters with goddesses and deities acted as catalysts for a deeper understanding of personal strength and identity. Amid the awe-inspiring energies of the temples, a subtle transmutation unfolded within me, contributing to weariness and moments of solitary reflection.

The weariness, a tangible outcome of the transmutation process sparked by the high energies of the temples, became a poignant testimony to the transformative changes transpiring within. Beyond physical fatigue, it reflected the energetic shifts and inner metamorphosis unfolding amidst the sacred spaces.

Apprehension about how I would ground myself after being elevated so high in this spiritual ascension gripped me. I got a late ride to the airport, where I boarded three planes and reached home, taking several hours, days later.  The journey home, the descent, felt akin to returning from a psychedelic journey, reentering the body of reality. Upon arrival, a wave of anger washed over me as I confronted the reality I was returning to. While Egypt had provided the sought-after joy, coming home thrust me back into a reality where joy seemed hard to find.

The reintegration process into work, relationships, and daily tasks took a toll, marked by sleepless nights, vivid dreams, and a palpable yearning for the friends and connections formed during the expedition.

My dreams echo the messages of being left in Egypt and mysterious voices asserting

that Egypt was my true home. The profound impact of Egypt had become ingrained in me, refusing to dissipate even after months of returning home.

In The Face Of Fear (A Poem)

In the face of fear, I don't crumble or retreat,

But embrace the challenge, a chance to meet.

Rising fears are a call to grow,

Staring into their eyes, a courageous flow.

I challenge the challenge, a dance with the unknown,

"I got this," I declare, my courage brightly shown.

For courage is not the absence of fear's might,

It's moving forward despite the fright.

Though the urge to hide in a crab shell may arise,

I resist, for it's a disservice in disguise.

A disservice to mankind, to myself, and more,

A disservice to my soul's calling, I explore.

When fear looms large, my demons I befriend,

Facing them boldly, on courage, I depend.

A dance with fear, a transformative art,

For in that dance, resilience imparts.

MONTHS LATER

Three months later, I find myself firmly rooted back in the USA. The process of integration into reality has been transformative, marked by intensive artistic creation, teaching engagements, and a newfound clarity in my life's direction. As I navigate the challenges of daily life, I strive to remember the profound lessons of power, light, and ascension from my journey through ancient Egyptian landscapes.

The memories of sacred energies, ancient monuments, and mystical encounters with deities continue to resonate within me. I carry the theme of remembering my power as a guiding force, influencing my choices and actions each day. The journey has instilled a deep sense of resilience, and I aspire to change my life in ways that bring me genuine joy and happiness.

As I face the complexities of the present, the echoes of the transformative experiences in Egypt serve as a source of inspiration. Though initially contributing to weariness, the high energies from the temples have become a testament to the transmutation occurring within. I am reminded of the energetic shifts and the profound changes taking place at a spiritual level.

In the intricate tapestry of my journey, the themes unraveling in Egypt remain a puzzle, a captivating enigma awaiting understanding. The echoes of knowing, remembering, and being my power resonate within. A queen chosen by the divine herself, the scar etched upon me is a poignant reminder of a purpose greater than self. I've realized that I possess the ability to transmute energy, heal, and inspire through the language of song and music—a calling that urges me to sing, sing, sing.

Egypt, to me, is not merely a destination but a home, a place where many saw me as one of their own. The depth of intention, woven with joy and love, has birthed a beautiful love into my life. As a magical creator, I hold within me the potent gifts of Hathor, Isis, Widjet, Nefertari, and Sekhmet. The sands of Egypt have cradled my soul in past lives, and the resonance persists. I long to go back more and more every day.

I acknowledge my regal identity as a Queen, no longer tethered by the confines of playing small. The limitations of my current surroundings hold no power over the expansive joy I am here to live and share. I am on a profound journey to spread joy, embrace love, and live authentically, stepping into the boundless power that defines me.

I tried to stay in touch with the comrades I met on the journey, but it has been hard to maintain a connection due to the physical distance and personal illness. I am forever grateful to everyone on this trip; I have learned many important lessons.

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